You are My Sunshine...

I find myself writing about my daughter quite often. She gives me all kinds of material daily, almost moment by moment. She is extroverted and animated, full of surprises, and always doing something to the fullest. She has always had significant health issues and has been unpredictable both in her actions and her illnesses. She (and her issues) have tested me and challenged me in ways that I never thought possible. She inspires me and makes me crazy all at the same time. Being her mother has resulted in constant reflection and growth on my part and I love every minute of it.

That being said, there is another amazing person I know. Those who really know him should consider themselves blessed. He is my son, Kyle, and he is going to be 13 tomorrow. Even writing that last sentence brings a tear to my eye. He and I have always had such a deep connection – he’s my KyKy, and he is growing up so fast!

It seems like just yesterday, I gave birth to my enormous son (22 ¾ inches long!) after 26 long, brutal hours of labor followed by an emergency C-section.  Now, he is a teenager and that is just insane to me.

From the time he was born, we could see that Kyle had what some would call a very “old soul”. He has always been an observant, deep thinker with an intelligence and wisdom that far surpasses mine. He also has always had an amazing heart and gentle spirit. He was the easiest baby in the world, except for the napping. Kyle was tall and always seemed older for his age. I can remember him asking, “What’s that?” nonstop at 10 months, and that inquisitive quality is one that he still very much possesses.  I also remember the shocked look on people’s faces when he would tell them, “That’s ridiculous” at age 2 with perfect annunciation. It used to crack me up. That was Kyle, articulate and confident.

 As a toddler, he was our little man. He rolled with me/us everywhere. He never had a “terrible twos”, which led us to the very inaccurate conclusion that we were incredible parents. Oh, did we learn a few years later how not the case that was! He would be so shy around everyone else, but at home sing “I Love Trash” from Sesame Street at the top of his lungs. He also loved it when I sang, "You are My Sunshine". When I sang it, I meant it. He is still my sunshine.

Kyle has always been an introvert, never wanting to be the center of attention. He would be so shy around everyone else, but at home sing “I Love Trash” from Sesame Street at the top of his lungs. I am pretty sure he cried every morning for the first 3 months of preschool. What can I say, he was/is a Mama’s boy!  I remember giving him his first Lego set right before he turned 4. I showed him how to do it once and then he pulled it apart and put it back together about a zillion times that same day all by himself. 9 years later, he still gets  excited if a new Lego set appears under the Christmas tree.

As the sibling of a child who has medical issues, Kyle      has had to “take a backseat” on many occasions. As his parents, we try to offset that as much as possible, but there is really only so much we can do. He has had to sacrifice activities, time with us, and more. And….he has never once complained. As I said before, his heart is amazing. He is the most patient and loving big brother. Recently we took a road trip to LA to take my daughter (who had a rough last year) to see her role model Bethany Hamilton as a surprise. Neither of the kids knew. The entire trip was for that reason and when we got to the church on Sunday where she would be speaking, the line was a mile long and it looked like we would have to wait for hours. I finally told Kyle why we were there and expected a complaint, an irritation that all this was for Natalie, or something similar. Instead, his face lit up with the brightest smile ever as he said, “Wow Mom! Are you serious? That is so awesome! She is going to be so stoked! I can’t believe you were able to pull this off!” What can I say, I love that kid. He is simply good people.

I really admire Kyle, both the person he is AND is becoming. He has a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and has such an amazing, forgiving heart. I have seen him grow so much over the last couple of years, going from the boy who didn’t want to say his favorite ice cream flavor on the first day of third grade, to regularly giving reports and sharing in class. He is finding his voice at school, becoming more than just a silent leader. He is still pretty shy, but if you take the time to get to know him, you will soon find out what an awesome kid/person he is. He remains one of the most authentic and loving people I know. He melts my heart and can brighten my day with a random hug. His giggle is one of my favorite sounds, and I love that every Valentine’s day he gets to be my date – and takes that role very seriously tending to my every need.  He is hilariously funny and can always make me laugh. I love that he still enjoys days out with just me and can be honest about when he wants to be with his pals. It is exciting to see him taking more risks and getting out of his comfort zone. He is becoming such a man, but still such a goofy boy.  I am beyond blessed to be his mom.

And even though he is now considerably taller than me, when I look at him, I still see my baby. I am pretty sure I always will.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.