Ah…life is never dull. For Christmas this year, I got some pain -Pain that started on the lower right side of my back and then generously spread to the lower right abdominal area. Really, really bad pain that got worse and worse with each passing day. I waited a few weeks to see if it resolved on its own, but no such luck. The pain progressed each day, worsened with activity, and soon was accompanied by intermittent waves of intense nausea and vomiting.
Convinced I had an ovarian cyst, I went to the OB/GYN for an ultrasound. I was more than surprised to learn that my ultrasound was normal. I was also devastated as that meant I had no clue as to what was wrong. I had what can best be described as a full meltdown. Then, I put on my big girl panties, and with some help from Mike, put a plan in place to get this diagnosis train moving.
The next day, 1/22, I had an emergency CT scan. The CT scan showed that my appendix looked abnormal though not indicative of appendicitis, especially given that I had been in pain for weeks. I was ordered to go straight back to the doctor’s office. Unsure of how to proceed with everything, my doctor referred me to a surgeon, one who had operated on me previously. On Tuesday, January 26th, I met with the surgeon who advised me that she really had no clue why I was in so much pain. She told me that my appendix looked funky and, though not emergent, something must be up with it as it just didn’t look normal. She talked with me about scheduling surgery and advised that it would likely require a vertical abdominal incision. Surgery meant anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks away from my class…there was also no guarantee that it would take care of my pain.
The next day at 3:30pm, I met with my principal, discussed the meeting with the doctor, and I laid out my desired plans for this surgery. MY plans included surgery to be scheduled a couple of weeks out, with plenty of time to write detailed lesson plans, talk through it all with my students, meet with my substitute, straighten my classroom…the list goes on. Less than 24 hours after that I was in the ER, 3 hours later I was on the operating table. So much for MY plan…
On Thursday (1/28), I felt like hell all day. I woke up nauseous and it never went away. Around 1:00, I felt like I was going to be sick, and left my classroom in the care of another teacher, while I darted to the bathroom. The next time I would see my class was one week later…Once in bathroom, I was more than sick. I was weak, tingly, faint, and in pain with nausea so overwhelming I could barely stand it. In fact, I really couldn’t stand or walk very well at all. I was basically stuck in the bathroom. If I yelled, I would alarm the students. I literally used the walls and tables in the hall to get to the door of the nearest classroom and poked my head inside to get the attention of a teacher (and dear friend) and then clawed my way back to the bathroom. After that, it was pretty much a scene. The students were ushered into another room so I could be helped into my room without them knowing what was going on. Phone calls were made to administration, my husband, and who knows who else. I knew I was headed to the ER and was clear that if anyone called an ambulance, I would refuse.
As I sat there waiting to be taken to the ER, it all hit me. I was not going to be able to make a single plan come to fruition. I knew I was going to end up in surgery that day. My classroom was a mess. I had no lesson plans written. I had no idea who was going to pick my kids up from school. I had no idea if and when Mike was going to get relieved from the ICU (he is a nurse) to meet me at the hospital. I could not walk without assistance and had no control over my body. I had no idea whether I was going to be out 2 or 6 weeks. I had no idea what the surgeon would find. I literally did not have control over a single thing in my life at that moment. It was the worst feeling ever. It was horrible. It was the most difficult moment, yet it became one of the most freeing moments I have ever experienced. I had no choice but to surrender it all. There was literally nothing I could do, but trust that God would take care of it all.
After being helped to the car by an army of people, I was taken to the hospital by my dear friend, Ashly. My surgeon met me there as did my sister, my husband, and my Darcy. At around seven o’clock that night I had surgery. Much to her surprise, the doctor was able to complete everything in a laparoscopic procedure, removing my appendix and gallbladder. With that, she was not sure if she had resolved my pain as the appendix, while abnormal, showed no signs of appendicitis.
Two weeks later, my pain is gone. The pathology on my appendix came back and it was, in fact, full on acute appendicitis. The doctor was stunned and elated that she had removed it. I was so thankful that I have doctors who go with their gut instinct instead of relying solely on textbook medicine. I had no fever or abnormal white count. My pain was slightly to the left of where it should be for appendicitis. I had pain for weeks. None of this is consistent with appendicitis. If the doctor had chosen to wait, my appendix would have ruptured at some point.
I am so thankful for the immense pain I had for those few weeks. It quite possibly saved my life. I am also thankful to have had the opportunity to experience a full and complete surrender of control. It was an amazing thing. I am so blessed to have amazing friends that I work with everyday that were there for me that Thursday at school and carried the burdens when I was gone. As I reflect back on this entire experience, it is clear God’s hand was all over it – in the big details as well as the seemingly insignificant ones.
Not being one to let this little episode steal my joy, I also laugh when I think of all of the funny things that occurred along the way…
…Stacy holding me in the chair, literally, so I could complete a call to Mike to let him know what was going on
…Watching Ashly, my beloved germ-o-phobe, sanitize her hands more times than I can count during our time together at the hospital
…Convincing the ER doctor at Sutter Memorial to let Ashly drive me over to Sutter General to be admitted there instead of taking an ambulance. I went wearing a hospital gown, 2 blankets, a barf bucket, and an IV still on.
…Listening to my intake nurse at Sutter General who sounded EXACTLY like Anjelah Johnson in the nail salon video on YouTube. You got flu shot?
…Having Darcy call me her little hollow chocolate Easter bunny for the first time (as I am seriously lacking in internal organs now)
I could go on and on…it really was a funny day. Even though this is long, there is so much I left out.
I have no complaints. God is good.
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